Thorin's Rules concerning Dwarves' Prank Wars
by PrincessMnMz
Summary: Rules that Thorin puts into effect during a dwarven prank war that takes place during the quest to reclaim Erebor. NO SLASH. Was formerly called "Kili's List of Rules"
1. Buttercups

**So this was just an idea I had. Depending on the reaction to this story, I may or may not continue. So, PLEASE review with your thoughts. Comments are always appreciated.**

Kili really could help himself. He knew that he shouldn't do it, and he also knew the trouble that he would get into for doing it. But, he also knew that the look on Thorin's face when he realized would be worth it. So, the youngest dwarf went ahead and did it anyway. Of course, Fili had the chance to hold him back. Fili could have stopped it if he had felt so inclined. After all, they were sharing the watch together. But, let it never be said that Fili was not averse to playing a good joke on their uncle. Thus, the first rule came into existence.

**Braiding buttercups into Thorin's hair while he is asleep is not allowed.**


	2. Ponies

**Here's chapter 2. Thank you to S for pointing out that I put the wrong language in. I never would have realized without that. (I changed it right away.) **

It wasn't one of Kili's best ideas. Even Kili would be the first to admit to that. In his defense, he was somewhat tired. (He and Fili had kept watch over the ponies all the previous night in punishment for Thorin's makeshift crown.) However, the looks on the dwarves face was completely hysterical. All of the ponies' manes and tails were identical to the beards of their riders. (At least, as identical as the brothers could make them.) Thorin's horse even had an impressive amount of buttercups braided into his own mane and tail. The horse, it should be noted, looked as happy with his own up-do as Thorin had with his. Thus came the second rule.

**The ponies are not to become fashion statements. **


	3. Apples & Bridges

**All you lovely people get 2 rules in this chapter.**

Kili cannot be held responsible for how the third rule or the fourth came about. Really. Everyone except Thorin realizes that Kili cannot be blamed for the actions leading up to the next two rules. And that was probably due to the fact that it was Thorin who was on the receiving end of the accident. It wasn't a prank. Kili was willing to swear to that. It happened this way.

"_Fili, catch." Kili tossed his older brother an apple. Fili caught it easily before tossing it up to Bofur, calling the dwarf's name as he did so. Bofur turned in the nick of time and caught it before calling out to Gloin. Soon, all of the dwarves were in the game, with the exception of Thorin, who was in deep conversation with Gandalf._

_Finally, he roused himself from his conversation to reprimand his nephews. "Kili. Fili. That's enough. Tossing that apple is only going to cause problems."_

_Did either Kili or Fili listen to their uncle? Of course not, which is why Thorin blames the brothers for what happened next. _

_It happened when they were crossing over a river. There had been a narrow bridge that had been built for the hobbits that lived in that area. It had no rim; it was just a flat surface made of a few raised boards. They had to cross it one at a time. And while the brothers waited, they continued to play their game. It was all fine, until Fili missed the apple. It flew right past his outstretched hand._

_And hit their uncle right in the back of his head. Through some sick twist of fate, it hit Thorin right as the dwarf had been shifting, resulting in his being off blance. Due to this unfortunate coincidence, Thorin, the dwarf king of Erebor, fell off the top of his horse and into the shallow river below._

_Kili and Fili watched their uncle with twin looks of horror, looks which were matched by the others of the company. The king pushed himself out of the water, sopping wet. He looked at his nephews with an anger that burned brighter then the fires of Smaug the dragon._

"_Kili," his voice caused the youngest dwarf to step back in fear. _

And thus, the third rule sprung into existence.

**Kili is not allowed to even touch an apple for the remainder of the journey.**

And the fourth.

**When crossing bridges, Kili's hands are to be bound in front of him and he is to walk in front of Thorin.**


	4. Keeping Watch

**You people are awesome. I went and read and re-read and re-read (and made my family read) all of the reviews you gave me. They make me so happy. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I never thought that this little story made up of drabbles would get so many reviews, so thank you again. **

**So, I'm going to try making this one a little longer. Let me know if you like it in a longer story form or if you just want a couple hundred word drabble.**

**Now, Rule 5.**

Since the last couple of times that Kili did something Thorin was the recipient of it, Kili knew that it would be best to change the recipient of his next prank. He didn't particularly like to, because who else could give the look that Thorin had long ago perfected. But, Kili also valued being allowed on the quest to regain Erebor and knew that if he wanted to stay on it that he'd better not do anything to Thorin. (Though, Thorin's impromptu bath did take care of the remaining buttercups in his hair.) That only left one question in Kili's mind: who would be the next to have his day..brightened…by the healing power of laughter.

Kili knew better than to do it Fili. Fili would just try to retaliate. And it wouldn't even be funny to pull a prank on Ori. Dwalin and Gloin, much like Thorin, would probably fail to see the humor in it if a prank was to be played on either of them. Balin, due to his age and the respect that the brothers had for him, was perfectly safe from any prank being pulled on him. As he went through the remaining list of dwarves, Kili found the perfect victim.

Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit.

Now, one could argue that the dwarves were asking for another prank to be pulled. After all, if they were really worried about him pulling a prank they would have had someone else stand watch with him. Someone like Dwalin, who wouldn't tolerate any of his mischievous ways. Or someone like Balin, who could talk him out of it. But the only punishment that Kili received regarding keeping the watch, was that Fili was not going to be a companion for him.

Looking at Bilbo's sleeping head, a brilliant idea occurred to the young dwarf. The curls were so ordinary in Kili's mind. To a dwarf, hair is the most important accessory. Whether it be on the head or the beard, it had to be unique and whenever the name of the wearer was brought up the first thing that should spring to mind should be the style of his hair. And, in Kili's mind, the poor hobbit's hair was quite plain. It really was an act of mercy that Kili remedied the situation.

It seemed Valar was asking him to do it. After all, the hobbit was in a deep sleep, (which is very hard to accomplish while sleeping in the woods) and the pine tree with its sap dripping down the side of the bark was placed right near to him. Of course, it was a sign. It was too good to be a coincidence in Kili's mind. And so, the young dwarf got to work. By the time his shift had ended, Kili had cleaned up of any incriminating evidence and happily passed the watch to Bofur, who didn't notice the result of Kili's two hour watch.

When Bilbo woke up the next morning, he was greeted by incredulous looks from all the dwarves. At first, he didn't realize what the dwarves were staring at. It wasn't until he looked into Fili's gleaming swords that he was able to see even a bit of his reflection. Looking at it, his jaw dropped in astonishment. His hair, his beautiful, curly hair which had been admired in all of the Shire, had been covered in tree sap until it stood straight up. And in an added twist, in the midst of the spiky horror, Kili had added a few braids.

"Kili," Thorin thundered when he finally saw the hobbit's hair.

Defending himself, Kili protested, "His hair looked out of place with all of the beards and such. I just wanted him to feel unique."

"I think he felt unique enough as the only hobbit in the company," Balin told Kili, his small smile concealed by his beard.

Looking at his uncle one last time, Kili excused himself. "I think that the ponies need looking after." He backed slowly away with his hands making calming motions, before turning so fast that he tripped as he ran in the directions of the poines.

**When Kili is keeping watch, it will be with another dwarf and he will be tied to a tree where his sleeping companions will be out of the way. **(The only reason for this was because Thorin was not going to let his nephew profit from his prank and he figured that even tied to a tree, Kili would be able to hear something approaching.)

_It should be noted that this entire time, Bilbo was still staring in horror at his distorted reflection in the sword, murming something that sounded like, "My poor hair. My poor, poor hair." _

**So, this isn't one of my bests, but I wanted to get it done before going to church tonight. So, don't hate me for this one. Please leave any suggestions or prompts.**


	5. Pepper

**Hey everyone, **

**First, thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows, the mean so much to me. Especially the reviews. :))))**

**Second, I'm sorry for the wait. School's started again, and the program I'm doing really concentrates on eleventh grade as the most important grade of high school. ))):**

**Third, if you think my writing style is like Tolkien's at all, get off Fanfiction right now and read any of his works. RIGHT NOW. :P**

**Many thanks to RoMythe and DirenKyo for the great idea about Kili getting pranked back. Admittedly, he probably does deserve it. I hope everyone enjoys.**

**So, this isn't going to be a rule. I think the story is taking a new twist.**

_In a surprising turn of events, it wasn't Kili who was responsible for the next heart attack that Thorin nearly suffered. Well, it could be considered Kili's fault, after all if he hadn't ruined Bilbo's hair, Bilbo wouldn't have wanted to find some way to avenge himself. Bilbo couldn't shake the feeling that he was only picked because Kili felt safe that Bilbo wouldn't try to get back at the dwarf. Bilbo was willing to bet that Kili wouldn't have done it to his grandfather Took. (He was big enough to ride a real horse, not a pony, but a horse.)_

_However, after hearing Gloin and Dwalin talk, Bilbo realized that he wasn't the only one to have been pranked in such a humiliating way. Kili had just picked on him because there was no one left. However, Bilbo also realized that if he didn't do something in retaliation, he would become the permanent victim of Kili. After that realization hit him, the Took side of his heritage started turning the wheels in his head. _

That was how he found himself moving over to where Kili lay late that night. He hoped Gandalf was right about Hobbits being able to move silently and nearly invisible when they wished to be. By the time he made it to where the youngest dwarf, his Took subconscious was shouting in glee; his Baggins subconscious was cowering in the corner of Bilbo's mind. He pulled out the small canister of pepper that Bofur had let him borrow.

Taking the very edge of the cloak, Bilbo dusted it very lightly with the pepper. The tiny particles were practically invisible on the gray cloak. Bilbo had only put the pepper on the rim of the hood and knew it would be right around the dwarf's nose. Bilbo had found out that Kili was allergic to pepper. A trait that all Durins shared. Bilbo made sure that it wasn't a serious allergy, (no matter what his hair looked like, the hobbit didn't want to kill Kili). Rahter Kili responded to pepper the same way that Bilbo did to pollen in the air. Lots of sneezing. That was as far as Bilbo was willing to go.

"Is it ready," Bofur, Bilbo's new partner-in-crime, whispered.

"Just about." Bilbo repositioned the hood so that it was away from Kili's head. Bofur grinned in response. It had been Bofur who had shared the information about Kili's allergy to pepper. He had been the one to point out to Bilbo that Kili would make him his permanent victim if the hobbit didn't retaliate. Bofur didn't mind Kili's antics, but he also knew that the young dwarf could take his pranks too far sometimes.

As soon as Bilbo was settled down, Bofur woke up Balin for the next watch. Soon, the hobbit and dwarf were sleeping peacefully, anticipation of Kili's surprise spilling into their dreams.

The next day did not break sunny and cheerful, rather it was a grey world that the companions awoke to. The threat of rain was in the air. It was soon after that they had eaten breakfast that Bilbo and Bofur realized something had gone wrong. For one, Kili was wearing a dark grey cloak; the cloak he normally wore was a brown. The second problem was that Kili's cloak was obviously too large for him. And when Kili spoke, Bilbo went white.

"Uncle, I'm wearing your cloak. I must have gotten it switched up last night." So saying, the two dwarves switched the garments and went on their way. Neither thinking twice about it. After all, it was an honest mistake. In fact, the only two who didn't pass it off were Bilbo and Bofur, who shared looks of despair.

Both tried several times to convince Thorin that he didn't need the cloak, that it was a beautiful day. The dwarf king thought nothing more about it than Bilbo had gone made and that Bofur was humoring him. Something that wouldn't surprise Thorin very much. He knew from the very beginning that Bilbo couldn't handle the pressure of the quest.

By the time the company was ready to move on, Bilbo and Bofur were beside themselves. Bilbo's face hadn't regained any of it's color and Bofur's personality was quite dower compared to his usual sunny disposition. Both positioned themselves in the back of the line, trying to be as far away as possible from Thorin.

For a time, it seemed that all would be calm and that Thorin would never pull his hood up. The rain hadn't come yet and Bilbo was hoping it never would. Of course, as soon as Bilbo started to be thankful for the lack of rain, the sky's opened up. Even then, it seemed that the world was mocking Bilbo. For the rain was heavy enough that the hood went up, but too light to wash the pepper particles out.

Almost as soon as Thorin pulled his hood up, he knew something was wrong. His nose seemed to tighten and before he could even register what was happening, he started sneezing. He started sneezing so hard, in fact, he had to stop his pony for fear of falling off.

Through his fogged brain, one fact stood out in Thorin's mind. Kili had taken his cloak the previous night. He could only manage one word through his sneezing but he put his entire effort in saying it. In fact, he bellowed it, "KILI."

He made out his youngest nephew riding forward. A mixture of emotions on his face, confusion and humor were the main emotions that Thorin could pick up on. Kili definitely found his uncle's predicament amusing.

"What," sneeze "did," sneeze, "you," sneeze sneeze "do?" sneeze

"Nothing, uncle. I swear that I have done nothing to do with your sudden ailment." Yes, Kili was definitely holding back laughter, and even Thorin could pick up on it. Thorin didn't find Kili believable and he fixed the younger dwarf with the best glare that he could manage. However, Thorin could only glare at Kili for a few seconds before he had to sneeze again.

Bilbo was watching miserably. He couldn't, in good conscience, see Kili getting blamed for something that he had done. Bofur, on the other hand, no such feelings. He had no doubt that Kili could deal with whatever punishment Thorin would mete out. And he knew that eventually the hood would fall off of Thorin's head and his king would be alright again. So, there was nothing stopping the dwarf from enjoying the scene in front of him.

Finally, Bilbo broke. He moved forward. "Kili's right, Thorin. I was the one who put the pepper in the hood. I meant to do it to Kili in return for messing with my hair. I had no idea that it was the wrong cloak. If I did, I wouldn't have done it," Bilbo's words came out rushed and it took Thorin a minute to piece together what the hobbit had said.

Kili understood immediately and he looked at Bilbo in surprise, as did most of the other dwarves. None had expected anything like this from the hobbit. When Thorin finally got what Bilbo had said, he quickly pushed his hood back from his head. He sneezed a few more times before the pepper finally stopped affecting him.

"So," he said slowly, Bilbo was staring miserably down at the ground looking rather like a truant schoolboy who had just been caught. "You put pepper in my hood?" Bilbo nodded reluctantly. "Why would you use pepper?"

Before Bilbo could respond, Bofur spoke up. "I told him that Kili was allergic." Thorin nodded slowly.

"Make sure that this doesn't happen again," was all he said, before nudging his horse forward. Bilbo looked at the retreating back of the dwarf king, in a state of surprise. He had thought that Thorin would send him home for sure. Hurrying to catch up with the now moving line of dwarves Bilbo realized that maybe Thorin was the heartless ass that he had taken him to be.

If he had heard what Kili had whispered to Fili, Bilbo wouldn't have felt so realaxed.

"It's on."

**So, do want me to go back to rules or go with the prank war. Or both? Please tell me. **


	6. Weapons

_Wow, thank you so much everyone for your reviews and favs and follows. I can't thank you enough. I also want to apologize for the long wait, I've been swamped lately. I just finished a preparatory SAT class that met every Sunday and Saturday for over a month and it was like 60 miles from where I live. Ugh. (I am really starting to hate getting older.) And that class gave me a bunch of homework in addition to my normal load so, yeah…swamped. Since I'm taking the SAT this Saturday, I decided that a good way to stop stressing would be to write fanfictions. Not exactly the best way since now the writing is slightly suffering since I'm still freaking out about the test. So, I cranked out quite a couple more chapters to this story. (Hey, maybe the SATs are good for something.) _

_I've decided to go with the prank war as the main plot line for the story (hence the name change) but, I've also wanted to get Kili pranking each one of the individual dwarves, before I concentrate on the prank war. That way, each is more than willing to retaliate at some point or another. So the next couple chapters are going to be fairly short (reminiscent of the first few chapters) with just rules. _

_Now, on with the story._

If you asked Kili, he'd say maybe, just maybe, it wasn't his best idea. Fili would quickly say that a dead orc would have known better. The other dwarves, except Thorin and Dwalin, would try to hide their smiles and keep their comments to themselves. Though, they all cherished the memory of Dwalin's reaction and subsequent threats. If you ask Kili if he regretted it, the dwarf would finger his hair, make sure that Dwalin or Thorin wasn't in hearing distance, then tell you, "No."

**If Kili takes and then hides Dwalin's weapons again, Dwalin is allowed to shave off Kili's hair and the stubble he calls a beard.**

_Also, any ideas for the prank war would be great, since I can usually only think up ones for what Kili would do. The others' are harder. Hmmm… I wonder if that means something._


	7. Bows & Arrows

**Wow, thank you for all the great ideas. I can't wait to get them all down on paper. So I'm using today to work on my fanfics since after I got home from the SAT, mom gave me the rest of the day off (I still think that it was a waste of my time...c'mon a four hour long test on a Saturday. Whoever came up with the idea should be tarred and feathered than stoned.) Anyway, I convinced mom that letting me on fanfiction for the rest of the day would be a brilliant idea so here I am.**_  
_

**This chapter's dedication goes to ZenaraTheDragon who came up with this idea a couple chapters ago and I finally found a good context for it.**

Fili really should have known better than to think he would be safe from Kili's impish side. Fili really should have been suspicious when Kili allowed him to sleep through their shared watch. But, the blonde dwarf wasn't. That's why he was surprised when he woke up tied to the tree he had fallen asleep on. His long blonde hair had been braided and was pinned above his head. On taking further stock of his surroundings, Fili saw Kili on the other side of camp, aiming a bow and arrow in Fili's direction, with a maniacal gleam in his eyes. As Kili released the arrow, Fili let out a very undwarfly shriek, which was loud enough to wake the others. It took their tired brains a moment to piece together Kili's hysterical laughter and shouts of "You should have seen your face" and the still quivering arrow sticking out of the tree and Fili's yells of "I'm going to kill you." While Bofur and Balin proceeded to untie Fili from the tree and then hold him back from murdering his younger brother, Thorin took his youngest nephew aside. His words caused Kili to pale. In case his threat failed to work, Thorin took it on himself to remind Kili that his nephew was an exception to dwarves' usual ability with bows and arrows.

**If Kili shoots at another dwarf, even in jest, they're allowed to return the favor**. (It should be noted that Fili still soundly thrashed his younger brother.)

_So I figured that this wouldn't be to far out of character for Kili. For a couple of reasons:_

_1) After all, who doesn't jump at the chance to pull a prank on a sibling by terrifying them. If you don't, then you are a much more mature person then me, who is more than willing to jump out at my younger brother when he's coming up from the basement. (Of course, he's more than willing to return the favor.)_

_2) The way I see it, dwarves probably play a lot rougher than plain old men._

_and 3) I can totally imagine the two of them nearly killing each other a million times and then saying they were helping each other train._

_ So read, review, and give me some more ideas. The more ideas I have, the longer this story's going to be._


	8. Cookfires & Buttercups

**Thanks to "booklover526" and "Ballykissangel" for their suggestions. I'm working on stories for all the other suggestions to. Never fear, they are on the way. And remember, more suggestions mean more chapters.**

Fili quickly stopped his sniggering while Kili changed his into a coughing fit. Bombur glared at Fili who had schooled his expression into boredom as he fingered one of his throwing knives. Kili was fletching one of his arrows when Bombur looked at him. Neither looked capable of doing anything beyond yawning. Their eyes were half lidded and their young faces were expressionless. (In alll honesty, their eyes were half closed because they were trying to hide their mirth. And their faces blank because the only expression that could have been there would have been amusement.) Bombur sighed and turned back to his cook fire. Which was out once more. His head shot up to look at Fili who was now polishing the knife. He shook his head and relit the fire. Turning back to get the supplies he left the fire unguarded for a moment, but kept an eye on Fili all the while. Turning around, Bombur found his fire out. When he turned to Kili, the youngest dwarf was nocking an arrow pretending to sight and shoot. He looked as if he could care less about the fire. This kept going on because Bombur knew that the brothers kept putting out his fire but he couldn't catch them since they had sat where he couldn't see both of them at the same time. It wasn't until Dwalin got hungry that the brothers' antics were put to an end. After a while of dinner not being made because the fire was never lit, Dwalin got up and grabbed each brother by the ear.

"Uncle," Kili wailed as Dwalin dragged them off.

"Owww," Fili growled. "Let go."

""He's hurting us," Kili was still trying to get Thorin's attention.

"Let go, Dwalin." Fili insisted.

"We are the princes of Erebor," Kili tried a different tactic since Thorin didn't look inclined to help. (Thorin was actually completely blankfaced but on the inside was dying of laughter.)

Dwalin did not let go until both princes of Erebor were sitting in the stream that ran next to the campsite. Both princes sputtered in anger until catching a glance of each other and cracking up. In retaliation for Thorin not helping them, Kili grabbed a handful of buttercups growing on the side of the river and tossed them in his hair.

"Do I look like Uncle, Fili?" Kili grinned maniacally.

Thorin's face turned red and the next rule came into existance.

**Next time Fili and Kili delay a meal, the hungry dwarves are allowed to use them as target practice.**

_So love it or hate it? Leave a review with a comment and a suggestion for a prank._


	9. Clothing

**Thank you to Shiary for the idea.**

Kili didn't like washing clothes. He was fine with most chores except for washing. To Kili, it was the ultimate degradation of a male. It was the lowest a man could sink when he had no woman around to do the washing. (This was a feeling he never told his mother, understandably.) The morning he was due to do the washing, Kili set up for what he considered his finest prank yet. Thorin was starting to watch Kili closely. (When Kili told Fili that he couldn't imagine why, his brother rolled his eyes.) So, Kili was set to washing the clothes with Dwalin standing guard. Kili made sure to act completely submissive. He kept looking side ways at the older dwarf as if blamin him for not being able to pull a prank. (Kili thought that was a stroke of genius.) It wasn't until he saw the dwarves faces when they saw clothing that he had washed and that they had to wear that the thought that maybe, jusst maybe, he had gone a little, really only a tad, too far this time crossed his mind. (He did think that Thorin did look very pretty with those grey eyes and black hair of his, though. (He only shared this thought with Fili though.)) Thorin did not agree, and the next rule was made.

**If Thorin's clothes ever become pink again, he will dye Kili's hair and stubble permanently pink.**

_Review with a comment and suggestion for the pranks, please._


	10. Majestic & Runes

**The idea for this chapter goes to booklover526.**

Kili tried to blame it on Dwalin. (As Fili later pointed out as Kili was nursing a black eye and bruised ribs, not a very good life choice.) After all, Kili reasoned, if Dwlain hadn't been boasting about his tattoos, Kili never would have come up with his latest prank. Well, probably never.

Later, Kili tried to blame Ori. (Also not a good life choice when the scapegoat has two overprotective brothers, Fili pointed out as Kili was nursing several more wounds.) After all, how was Kili to know that the ink was permanent or had a pinkish hue.

Finally, Kili tried to blame Bilbo. (When a strange rash appeared, Fili really though his brother was a fool. Who blames the close friend of a wizard? Even if it really is their fault.) After all, Bilbo was the one who had asked why all dwarves didnt have tatooes if they were as important as Dwalin made them out to be. (See, it really was Dwalin's fault.)

It should be noted that everyone did appreciate what was on Thorin, and that Kili had gotten the idea from something Bilbo had said. (So maybe it was Bilbo's fault, after all.) The whole thing merited two rules from Thorin.

**Kili is not allowed to write dwarvish runes on the company's faces.**

**No matter what Kili thinks, he is not allowed to refer to Thorin as "majestic" again, nor mention the word anywhere near Thorin (who would be very much appreciative if everyone could forget seeing the words on his forehead).**

_Leave a review with a suggestion, I will get to it...eventually._


	11. Waking Up & Water

_This chapter idea comes from Scribe of Erebor. Thank you so much. _

_Also, someone asked if there was any art work that went along with this story. Since I am not able to draw a straight line to save my life and have managed to fail art (it's bad, I mean, who manages to fail art?) I had to answer in the negative. But, it got me thinking. There are a lot of really good artists out there. (I know, the majority of my friends are like Michelangelos...how annoying is that?) So, if any .of you are willing to draw pictures to go along with this story, I would totally love you. So, please think about this_

Kili and Fili had both ignored a formidable enemy when they were planning their pranks. They knew not to prank certain dwarves. But they failed to realize that there were some dwarves who were able too pull a prank. (Not as good as the brothers, _of course_, but capable of pulling a prank on someone else as well.) So, when they went to bed, they never thought that they were in any danger. They slept on either side of Thorin and during that time, anyone looking at the three would be shocked by the peace surrounding them. It was the only time Thorin looked completely calm and not like a king on a mission. It was the only time Kili didn't look as if he was up to something. (Well, he always looked like he was laughing about something that only he knew, but when he was sleeping this look didn't inspire the same emotions in the others as it did when he was awake.) And it was the only time that Fili didn't look slightly worried by his brother. (Because, even if he was in on the prank, he always thought that Kili would take it too far.) This beautiful and touching scene didn't stop the other dwarf from setting up to give the two younger dwarves a nice good morning surprise. If ever asked, the dwarf would deny the cat-ate-the-canary grin that was stretched across his face.

Unfortunately, during the night, the three shifted positions. Thorin managed to sprawl across the area the three of them had occupied. Fili and Kili were still lying on either side of Thorin, but they were well out of the danger zone. And when it was time for them to wake up, it was Thorrin who tripped not one, but two wiires, and it was not one but two buckets of water that fell on him.

All Dwalin had to say in his defense as he looked at the once more dripping king off Erebor, who's eyes matched the fires of Smaug was, "You stank." Thus, the next rule.

**No one will bring water within ten feet of Thorin, without his express permission.**

_Okay, now for the AU. As usual, read and review with suggestions. Also, as mentioned up above, if anyone could draw any pictures for this story, I would love you forever. No, seriously. FOREVER._


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